Crumbs aren’t a banquet

One thing that people who engage in extramarital affairs all have in common is that they are all willing to imagine that the crumbs they are receiving is in reality a banquet.  They feast on those crumbs and call it dinner.  But why?  Why would anyone think so little of themselves that they essentially start seeing someone who is already in a sense cheating on … Continue reading Crumbs aren’t a banquet

The Last Dregs of Healing

I think one of the hardest things about an affair is the constant wondering.  At first you’re wondering if they’re still cheating and wondering where they are and what they’re doing.  Not knowing is, of course, one of the worst feelings ever.  And I can remember that feeling as if I were feeling it an  hour ago.  And some things still trigger those feelings, dumb … Continue reading The Last Dregs of Healing

Learning to Walk

I feel like for the past few years my husband and I have been running.  We are running a bunch of kids, running work, running the house, running our families, and both running away from each other and then back to each other.  We probably have run the equivalent of several marathons.  Maybe I should have prefaced this paragraph with I hate running. One thing … Continue reading Learning to Walk

Putting her to rest and blank pages

I have been thinking about myself today.  What I need and what I don’t need.  I considered all of the evidence in front of me regarding her and my next move.  Part of me wants to put her behind me cold turkey and hopefully move forward hand-in-hand with my husband, heads held high.  Part of me wants to engage in that conversation with Bobbie so … Continue reading Putting her to rest and blank pages

What an overflowing trash can taught me

For the entire 13 years we have lived in our current house the garbage can in our master bath has been too small.  Every week it would overflow with my plastic water bottles and tissues, etc.  Sometimes I would bring up another plastic store bag and hang it on the doorknob to collect the excess, and sometimes even that would overflow.  There seemed to be … Continue reading What an overflowing trash can taught me

You can’t move forward without looking back

One of the things my husband and I decided to do over Christmas break was to watch the TV show This is Us.  We could stream the whole season on Hulu, so every evening we watched it together.  I don’t know if you have ever seen this show, but if you haven’t you should.  It’s actually a show about something, it’s meaningful, insightful and deep. … Continue reading You can’t move forward without looking back