Closure, where are you?

I have started and erased this page three times now.  I keep changing my mind about what I want to say or how I want to say it.    Things are going well here.  Maybe that’s the problem.  Another problem is that I don’t share everything, even here.  I don’t even share those deep parts of my mind with him.  Seems kind of deceitful, doesn’t … Continue reading Closure, where are you?

Damage unseen

When dealing with affairs we typically see the emotional effects. All of the invisible pain that everybody in the family feels. But, as I'm sure we have all experienced, there is also damage to the physical aspects of your life. For us, it's been closets. From the moment I found out my mind and body shut down. My huge house and my huge family got … Continue reading Damage unseen

Anything But Mine

I know I haven't written in a very long time. It's much harder to contribute to this blog when things are going so well. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in an amazing dream. Last year at this time I was not in a good place. In an instant my life was changed. It was awful and terrible and the worst nightmare ever. I asked … Continue reading Anything But Mine

Standing above the rubble

I am relatively certain that the piece of trash has read my other blog, regarding the other wife and me finding each other. I think this based on something she wrote in her blog. Something about nothing was going to take away her happiness. Yeah, whatever. I feel really worried for her new guy. I hope he is not in too deep. Things are going … Continue reading Standing above the rubble

I heard myself say the words that all men are assholes

A few years ago I would have never generalized like that. But, a few years ago things were different. I find myself saying a lot of things that I would have never said before. I also find myself thinking things I never thought before. I remember hearing a comedian about ten years ago say during his act that all men cheat and proceeded in a … Continue reading I heard myself say the words that all men are assholes

He knew all along

It's only a matter of time before the other woman finds this blog. If you search her name it is the third hit. I also wonder everyday if another woman is going to come forward and tell me her husband was with her as well. People have affairs, no doubt. But, to be sleeping with three married men at once is beyond me. I look … Continue reading He knew all along

When You Love Someone

I finally got to talk to my “counselor”, who is really a friend and a minister, with a bit of knowledge in counseling. She actually counseled us back in 2012. Although, we found out later that my husband continued to have the affair while we were doing this. Counseling can’t work if the parties being counseled aren’t truthful. Although, looking back, I find it odd … Continue reading When You Love Someone

How This Blog Changed My Life

I never imagined that healing for me, for us, would start so quickly after beginning this blog. I envisioned many blogs detailing more days of pain and sorrow. I envisioned any healing that would take place would be me, alone, working through the betrayal of someone I truly loved who continued to not act like himself by writing and writing and writing. I expected to … Continue reading How This Blog Changed My Life

Great things that bring back Bad memories

About a year ago my daughter was inducted into the National Honor Society. Today is the day she is doing the inducting for the Junior Class. On a day that I should have been not only proud, but happy, it was a struggle last year to even attend the event. And then, when we were walking in, my husband walked several steps ahead of me, … Continue reading Great things that bring back Bad memories

Getting Past what I Can’t Get Over

I have told my husband and myself that I have forgiven him and that I'm ready to move on. Actually, I've been saying that I just want to move on for several years. And, every time it seemed like we might be moving on, something would happen to set us back. But, now something has happened to move us forward. Although, I'm sure for him … Continue reading Getting Past what I Can’t Get Over