I had a dream about the OW last night. It’s been a long time since I’ve dreamed about her. I think it stems from a Raymond episode my husband and I were watching a few nights ago. It’s the one where Stefania and Amy came together to discuss Robert after he broke up with Stefania. I couldn’t help but to put Bobbie and myself in Stefania and Amy’s place.
It used to bother me to dream about Bobbie. Let’s face it, dreaming about the OW is not ideal and you never know what that dream will entail. And I’ve ranged from fairly normal dreams to over-the-top dreams about her. I imagine the content directly stemmed from my mental state-of-mind at the time.
This dream left me wanting more though. My husband was in the dream, but not really directly, just sort of there in the background. Although there was some slight interaction between Bobbie and him in the dream, it was more of an uncomfortable awkwardness between them. The dream nearly mostly consisted of Bobbie and I talking to each other only. I have actually had two conversations with Bobbie regarding this affair. One occurred days after I discovered they were having an affair. And the other occurred about half-way into the affair. The first conversation was mostly a conversation with myself. She was defensive and indignant, walls were up. My husband told me later that she told him she never wanted to be put through that again. I will give her kudos though for having the conversation, though I would call it anything but productive. I was led to believe at this point by my husband that the affair was over and obviously it wasn’t. The second conversation was actually great. And it was the one time that I can say she acted like an adult and had an adult conversation with me. And despite the circumstances we were both very respectful of each other and I felt like we listened to each other. I’m not sure that we accomplished much more than just listening, but maybe that was enough. We validated each other’s feelings. There was nothing earth-shattering about it, but I guess I will say it felt good to have that conversation.
In my dream last night the conversation was probably how I have envisioned that conversation a million times. I haven’t seen Bobbie or talked to her in years. So, in my mind, the conversation always starts out a little awkward. I don’t know why, but I feel like that we would ease back into conversation fairly easily. I just feel like we know too much about each other and have been through so much in this whole ordeal that the words would eventually come pretty easy. Even though I haven’t seen her for years, parts of me feel like I just saw her yesterday.
I’m not surprised at all that I would dream this. Talking to Bobbie has been on my mind so much lately that it has been consuming most of my thoughts. It’s actually been keeping me awake at night. And the big problem with that is, there’s not a soul I can talk to about this, except here in this blog. Most people would think I was crazy for giving her a second thought, regardless of the reason. And it seems to be a cyclic thing. I usually get past this “needing” to talk to her and move on and don’t think about it again for months.
Have any of you had a conversation with the OW and how did it go?