Over the weekend a friend asked me how I overcame the affair.  This person’s sister had just discovered her husband was having an affair.  I replied without hesitation that you don’t overcome affairs as much as you learn to live with the reality of them.  That is overcoming them, learning to live with them, including all of the pieces, no matter how sharp, jagged, or … Continue reading Remember

The Last Dregs of Healing

I think one of the hardest things about an affair is the constant wondering.  At first you’re wondering if they’re still cheating and wondering where they are and what they’re doing.  Not knowing is, of course, one of the worst feelings ever.  And I can remember that feeling as if I were feeling it an  hour ago.  And some things still trigger those feelings, dumb … Continue reading The Last Dregs of Healing

Blurred lines

  Frequently people have asked me who was to blame for the affair my husband had.  I am asked this because everyone who knows my husband, and who now knows that he had an affair (not too many people actually know), can’t believe that he would have an affair.    I have thought about this many times.  Who is to blame?  Obviously, when someone is … Continue reading Blurred lines

I’m not looking for a fairytale

The last few day have been a whirlwind, even though I’ve been dying to come here and write.  You know, it’s amazing to me how things have just fallen into place.  Sometimes I just can’t even fathom it all or believe it all.  I have moments of disbelief about the past and the present, but in different ways. My husband is a very private person. … Continue reading I’m not looking for a fairytale

While he was busy looking for my faults, I was busy ignoring his

When your spouse has an affair, the very first thing you do is ask yourself what you did wrong.  It’s instinctive maybe to just assume that if the love of your life is cheating on you that it’s only logical that you are the problem.  And you will replay your life in your mind, going back again and again on replay to try to figure … Continue reading While he was busy looking for my faults, I was busy ignoring his