Chasing the sky into the ocean

I have purposely avoided coming here.  I mean, I truly haven’t had a lot of time, and it seems like the more info I have squeezed into my brain about this the worse I feel.  So, where I left off was preliminary contact with another wife whose life had been also impacted by my OW.  I feel I need to clarify here since there are now two other wives whose spouse’s had an affair with the same woman mine had an affair with.  So, I will use nicknames to keep it all clear.  The first wife contacted me a few years ago with a landslide of information regarding her husband’s affair with the same woman.  And I do mean landslide…she had texts, yahoo messenger exchanges, emails and photos, and very specific information.  She brought it all to the table and then some.  And because she had specific information and specific details about dates and events, her information alone was all I needed.  I will always be appreciative to her for not just walking away when she found my blog.  She was the assist to our goal of saving our marriage.  So, let’s call her First Wife.

Second Wife found my blog the exact same way First Wife did.  She also was a wealth of information, and had her own series of information, but mostly texts and photos.  The big difference here is Second Wife never made contact with the OW.  She is relatively sure the OW doesn’t even know she knows. I made the conscious decision not to share this information with my husband.  I considered it, I lay awake at night and pondered the whole thing all over again.  But, I didn’t see the point in dredging it all up again when all it would have done is poked the whole situation.  Instead, I did nothing.  I never told anyone at all, except a text to First Wife.  And that conversation wasn’t very long.  Just shock and wondering how many more there could be.  Maybe someday I will tell him, but not anytime soon.

So, what does it all mean?  Nothing.  It doesn’t mean anything.  It’s merely a confirmation of things I already suspected.  It’s a bit overwhelming, I do admit that.  But, I’m already past this new information.

So, instead of going on and on, I will share this song with you about strength!

Something Wild

If Bobbie has heard this song, I have no doubt she loves the line “chase the sky into the ocean”.  I know it made her smile.  And I think it’s okay to have that vision of her in my head, instead of so many other visions.  Strength is about letting go and moving on and growing.  My commitment to overcoming all of this in every way is strong.  I have this song on my playlist.  I listen to it a lot.  I did have my map drawn and the past did feel like quicksand.  But, I overcame.  We overcame.  My husband has told me that his only thought of her is that he wishes her well.  I wish her well too.  It has taken me such a long time to get to this point.  I was super worried about myself when Second Wife found me.  But, instead of weakening me, it strengthened me.

And maybe the strength part comes just when it’s supposed to, at the right moment, when  you are convinced that you may not have a trace of it left within you.

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