I am super tired, but I really had to come here for a least a few words to tell you all the latest. So, I was perusing an email I rarely use, and I can’t remember the last time I was on there, but, if I recall, it was the email I used in the comments on this blog to get in contact with the other wife. Anyway, there were quite a few emails. One was from one of my readers on here….I will get back to you soon! And then, there it was…..another email from another wife who found my blog whose husband had slept with the OW. She sent that email to me over a month ago. Unfortunately I am crazy busy the next few days, but I did send her an email back to say that I received it and I was sorry that it had taken me so long to respond. Luckily, she’s still willing to talk to me. I will be going crazy the next few days until probably the end of next week before I can have that conversation with this woman. I haven’t told my husband yet. And I’m debating telling him at all. I also haven’t told the other wife yet. But, texting her is at the top of my list.
I’m beginning to believe that there were many others besides my husband and the other husband during the same time period. I suppose it doesn’t matter now. But, as I was sitting at my son’s game tonight I was thinking about Bobbie and wondering why she thinks so little of herself that she needs the attention of so many men. My sister thinks it is society in general. Men and women working together, riding in cars together to meetings, basically just being too close to the opposite sex. I can remember arguing with her about this once. Of course, that was when I had complete trust in my husband. I remember specifically a few months before I found out, that she had sent an email saying that she had been side-swiped. He didn’t even hide that he was calling to check on her, because I didn’t think anything of it. He was her superior and it never even phased me that he was checking on her.
All of this conversation lately about looking to see what the OW is up to made me want to see what the OW was up to. I didn’t want to ask my friend. It really wasn’t a spying thing as much as a general wonder what she’s up to thing. And I suppose I don’t really need to know. I kind of feel dumb for even wondering. I will try my hardest to avoid asking the friend. Sometimes I think though, just checking every once in a while appeases that desire to know and let’s you be in peace for a while.
I will share more of all of this later. Send me your good thoughts and most of all patience, while I wait to learn the details of the next bombshell.
2blackcadillacs 
Sweet motherfucker. I know slut shaming is the new hate crime, but this woman is disgusting. This is a psychologically damaged woman who I think hates other women and therefore hates herself as well. My mother in law has a bit of this in her, as did the mow. Worship men, hurt women, sleep around, change the wording and call it sophisticated and European instead of sluttiness. And be sure to tweet about the sisterhood and yoga. And these women quote Esther Perel (cheater apologist) because she knows the only appropriate response to infidelity is a shoulder shrug and reapplying lipstick. Very continental and evolved.
Conveniently forgetting that the internal damage of these cheaters is so profound that the only way to lessen their pain is to hurt women who have what they don’t. Fuck.
I’m surprised by none of it. I knew even before the affair that she slept around…I mean, everybody knew. My husband chose to ignore that fact.
I think women just have a thing about checking on other women. I tried telling my husband this. He didn’t really seem too convinced. This morning my husbands ex-wife accidentally sent me a ‘thumbs up’ on facebook messenger. The only thing this tells me is that she was checking up on me and on him – despite the fact that she is the on that left him in shambles and heartbroken so many years ago.
As for the close proximity of males and females within the working environment – I can see how people think that plays a role in infidelity; however, at the end of the day, it takes two …. and when both people make the decision to cross that line, it no long matters what their relationship is beforehand. We all have our own brain, and we all use it one way or another. This woman was just a manipulative slut that knew how to use all of these men to her advantage. She’s trying to fill some void or hole in her life in the wrong way. Whatever her past is, it can’t be a good one. Or maybe she’s just a bad person in general.
I think this is just what she does, whether it’s to fill a void or nothing at all, she loves to feel loved, or maybe she just likes adventure with security. I imagine Freud would have loved to have talked to her.
Freud could have written an entire book on her and still been confused.
The workplace whore that tore my family apart was sleeping with three guys at the same time. She also broke apart four marriages and had been married three times. All of the men sleeping with her knew what she was and still CHOSE to be with her. These were educated, management position men. Your H knew what Bobbie was and he still CHOSE to be with her. I don’t doubt for a minute that she was with many others, but these men simply don’t care. You honestly can’t make this shit up.
I think they believe they are special; they’ll be the exception to the rule and she will cease her slutty ways for them.
You hear things like that and it makes me question humanity. I’d love to hear their thought process and see how close I was to getting it right. How do they lose their damn minds so easily? What does she do or say that makes them all think they will be that special man she’s finally faithful to? I realize it’s a useless endeavor but I would still love to hear the reasoning.
You have got it…that was it exactly for my husband. She made him believe that she would cease her slutty ways for him. And I don’t think it was what she said as much as what she did. From what I understand from my husband she could have starred in her own porn series. And I think she wouldn’t talk to me because she has no reasoning for what she did. She didn’t think, she just did it. That’s her whole reasoning. She did not care that he was married or had kids or anything. Her whole belief system is to consider her own happiness and that’s it. She believes that she has the right to be happy even if it means trampling on someone else.
Wow! She was really busy, wasn’t she? I know it sounds petty but I’m going there anyway. I checked out her website a while ago. She is nothing special. What on earth does she have or do or say that made at least 3 men say to themselves, “Yeah, I’m willing to risk my marriage and everything I’ve built over the years for her,”?
The other wife I met called her a “frumpy old maid” and said that she could have a better understanding if she was a bombshell. It was in her marketing. She made herself appear like his dream come true. Oh, and gave him great blow jobs. Let’s not forget that one.
The blow jobs are the currency of the affair, I believe. The rest of the transaction involves mutual admiration and the blowing of sunshine up each other’s ass. So he sticks his dick in the ATM, gets a blow job, then they spend all that it’s worth and have to go back for another withdrawal and keep it going. The only way to keep the dream alive is thru the promise of sex.
And just like real life, spending time and money on having meals at the gas station instead of doing the work of meal planning, budgeting, prepping, cooking, and enjoying the meal with loved ones, an affair is super easy. But will fuck you up in the long run and cost you so much more than the fucking skittles and hostess shit did.
I remember when I first suspected an affair and I confronted wh. He was incredulous. “Why would I have an affair with her?!? I have access to world class executives.”
All true. But world class is the key here. They screw what’s available. And only slutty is available. She has nothing but the ability to blow the appropriate sunshine up his ass. Have you guys seen the soulmate schmoopie cartoons? Highly recommend, but NSFW, absolutely hilarious and spot on about affairs. Any back to the sluts: Think about how many “ew, no!!” they must hear. Sounds like Bobbie never got the mm in the end in any of these cases. She allowed herself to be used. So gross. And then continued repeating the pattern over and over. The water finds its level, and our stupid husband’s dive right in if the message tickles them in the right place. Don’t forget that these women have been crafting the art of manipulation since they crawled into daddy’s lap, then the schoolboys then the colleagues. Very good at it, and they don’t look like monsters or stand out. Plain and nothing special.
The mow was close to 50 and this tack was not moving her career forward. It hadn’t in her 25 yrs AS A THERAPIST. Yet, it’s the only tool in her arensal , she gets the taste of power and control and it sustains her so she doesn’t have to look at her demons.
I think those demons will manifest themselves in the form of a chapped handed angry orderly who roughly changes her diapers and clothes in years to come since no loved ones will care for her.
Mic drop.
Picking the mic back up, sorry. I got thinking about boundaries. Envision large social settings: it’s so easy to know which men have appropriate boundaries by looking around the room. You know that there are men whom you would never hug tightly, but rather a polite peck on the cheek in front of his wife. Nor would he act creepy. But we all know the men who cross the boundaries. And they can spot a mark in a crowd. My wh is that male mark. Never acts inappropriately, but somehow always has the one handsy woman in our crowd throwing her arms around his neck. But it’s her next move I find so fascinating: she gushes in his ear, loudly, about how beautiful his wife (me) is. So she gets to feel him out by subtly pushing at the line. She does this with no other husband. Her husband just stands there and I smile and eat it all up, I consider it anthropology. Because no one can call her out on what she’s doing. She’s an Ivy League educated surgeon, and very very intelligent. She knows boundaries and how to tickle and tease them.
Wh now sees her actions not as flattering but insulting because she sees him as weak and without boundaries.
Honestly, I think Bobbie saw my husband as a challenge. He was this big time family man who seemed to be straight and narrow. She wanted to see if she could bring him down. I imagine it all happened much quicker than she expected. Me finding out just fueled her fire, not for him, but to beat me at the wife game. She quickly realized that I was much smarter than her in every way. That dented her giant ego and the game was on.
The mouth breathing catfish (first name the rhymes with schmolleen) believed he was the dick to endless riches. Which is really short sighted on her part. There are a bunch of kids in the mix ($) and businesses in my name ($) and she’d have to pay her stupid h alimony ($) so pretty sure she should stick to blow jobs not finance. She wanted the life she thought I had (gee who told her what a cushy life I had? Oh yeah mr pity play) which was less country clubs, shopping and charity luncheons and more vomiting on the shower floor, wearing sunglasses all the time because I cried so much I looked like I’d been punched in the face, and covering for him with the kids while I wondered where the fuck he was and he didn’t answer texts or calls. But miss cock slobber (last name begins with a wor, and then s, then l, then e, then y – check out her 2 twitter accounts and let me know what u think) had her eye on the booby prize. I must be ovulating I’m so punchy and pissed off right now lol.
Well, I checked her out. I honestly don’t know what these men are thinking….oh yeah, they’re not. There’s no doubt Bobbie wants money, of course any man with lots of children isn’t going to have any…well, extra anyway. Of course, my husband has power, I’m sure she wanted a piece of that action. However, her driving force was simple…..take down the family man, along with his children, and most of all his wife. My son put her in her place regarding the children part…..I did the rest. My husband nailed her coffin shut.
I checked her out as well. Nothing special.
Good ol’ Harley has been arrested at least three times. I found that out by googling her name and having her mugshot pop up! And he tells me I have no class! ROFL
Yup. Fleece, Capri pants, woodsy sandals and feet like a hobbit. I’m a knockout in comparison. Seriously. She dresses like my mother in law, so super sexy. I work in fashion, so I have to try to keep in tune with what’s what, hip young. Her clothes make one wonder if the store she visited actually had other choices than what she left with. Because with all the choices out there – she paid for THAT? This isn’t about cost, but effort. Make one. Wh had to speak to her about how she dressed to visit offices – as if she’d been in the bush for the night. But I guess when you’re on your knees for long periods of time, comfort is key. Pretty sure she wasn’t genuflecting in those pants.
Don’t get me wrong – we all know those beautiful, make up free athletic hiker types who come out of ll bean looking so radiant and healthy and gorgeous. So I’m not suggesting my way or the highway at all. However, run a comb through your hair, woman. You work in one of the largest North American cities where people are so beautiful and put together. It’s not hard.
I’m actually back in said city right now so I’m a bit triggery. I won’t run into her unless there’s an oiled pig scramble in town, or a shoot-the-tin-can-off-the-fence conference this weekend. Or a hillbilly field trip to the big smoke, since she lives in the outskirts. But still. The memories. The hotels I get to walk past. My old house is here. My stomach clenches and my chest tightens.
I don’t know if she’s still married, I’m kind of curious and kind of hope she is. It would lessen her chances of bringing her ‘blow jobs on speed dial’ mad skillz on tour. I really want her to feel like a used napkin (she’s been in so many laps) and just hurt. I want her to hurt everyday. (Although I’d never do anything to make that happen, I do nudge the betrayed wife gods to drop an opportunity into MY lap) My fantasy is meeting someone super gossipy we both know and smilingly telling her the story. The truth. And then letting it spread, the way icky stories do. Especially in a field dominated by female over talkers.
Thank you for giving me a safe place to be a total petty bitch.
You are hilarious! You should write a book! I love reading what you write!