I love writing at night when it’s quiet. I have a small reading nook in our bedroom and I can hear my husband’s quiet breathing, even over the television playing in the background. I love that feeling, it’s like I’m outside looking in at this scene from my life. My husband always loved deep in the night when he knew everybody was home safely in their beds, safe from the outside world. Unfortunately, that does not happen even most of the time any longer. One of our kids is away at college and another splits his time between here and his girlfriend’s. Our life is changing. We are still present in some chapters while simultaneously beginning another.
This weekend was busy, but they all are busy this time of year. We always go through a period of exhaustion after a few weeks, until we settle in and accept the reality that we have zero days off. It sounds daunting, doesn’t it? We have finally crossed that threshold of exhaustiveness and are coping with the daily schedules of our three youngest. Finding time to be together is especially hard. We end up forcing ourselves to stay up at night longer that we really should. Finding time to be alone is also difficult. This is it for me…late nights. I have quite a few drafts saved, but I still write here almost every night, whether I post them or not. My own online diary.
Recently my son told me that my ring was very sparkly in the sunlight. He was trying to bait me into telling him the price by guessing different numbers. He was being silly and cute at the same time. He said that daddy must love me a lot to have bought me that ring. It made me wonder what he thinks in his little mind for him to say that. I know they know, I know it’s back there in the recesses of their minds, but they seem happy. I constantly ask myself if I should talk about it with them, even if they don’t bring it up. Sometimes knowing what is the right thing is hard with the kids.
I’ve concentrated so much on my own healing, maybe I’ve neglected my children’s healing. When this all began, they were all much younger, all still in school. Now, they are either adults or teenagers. And I simply don’t know if they need to talk about it, want to talk about it, or try not to think about it. Should he talk to them? Should just me talk to them? Should we both talk to him? Or do we just lift the rug and sweep it all underneath? How does one know what to do when it comes to their children in this circumstance? Do they ever talk about it amongst themselves? I think this means that I’m soliciting advice from you fine folks.
In other news, I pre-ordered my iphone7 plus and it has been stuck in the preparing to ship mode for two weeks. Seriously? I’m kind of annoyed by that. I like being annoyed by that. I like being annoyed by little things that mean absolutely nothing.