Her again

I have told you all before that I think the universe is haunting me regarding her.  “Things” just keep happening regarding her.  It’s almost daily now.  Some of them are explainable, sure.  Some of them just aren’t.  I had no intention of blogging today at all.  In fact, I wasn’t even going to log in, but I had accidentally left the site up on my computer, so I was on to get some messages…I logged out after, with no intention of coming back, to give myself a break.  And then, the universe stepped in and gave me something to blog about.  I had come to peace today about walking away from her and everything to do with her.  I took her in one last time and was ready to just skate away into bliss.  But, the universe had different plans.

d55c7a012484af8d0c0318363b91ab71-2

If you remove the affair from the equation, when I think of Bobbie there are a few things that come to mind….her dad, shopping, shoes, turtles, country music, Jimmy Buffet, and Randy Travis, most especially Randy Travis.  She loves him and he is her idol, and has been since childhood.  In the last 15 days, three friends, not mutual to each other,  have posted his video “Forever, and Ever, Amen”.  Okay, I know….weird, but not necessarily the universe pining for attention.  I skip every Randy Travis song on my phone when it comes up.   So does he.

Then today happened.  I can honestly say I have never been so tempted to text someone as I was today.  One of my FB friends posted today that Randy Travis had been in a town south of me for TWO DAYS and had eaten at a restaurant there.  He was literally in our neck of the woods, which is saying something, believe me.  She would have wanted to know he was right there.  And right there for TWO DAYS.  And I so wanted to tell her.  I picked up my phone….and then put it down.  I knew I couldn’t do that.  But, I have never been so tempted in my life.  Perhaps she had found out anyway.  Maybe someone else told her.  And while you’re wondering why I would want to tell her of all people, you’re missing the point.  The point is that Randy Travis showed up at all!  Not just on my newsfeed, but nearby!

I realized all of this before we left for practice tonight.  I screenshot everything…once again I had to look that procedure up and should probably write that down……and left.  I knew I wasn’t going to be able to write about this or talk about this, or even be near my computer for hours and hours.

I was on my phone though.  And while perusing Pinterest this came up:

87d046b422d6e8e76dc9d2b14d6ba591-2

Okay….I concede.  It is not going away.  Therefore I have to assume that there’s something left…some tidbit that I must address.  Obviously, if I follow the clues, it’s her I must address.  I’ll be honest here.  I have no idea how to do that.  And I have even less of an idea what she is thinking.  I have zero information regarding her, and haven’t for a very long time.  All of the things I used to know about her have faded into the years of absence.

Last week there was a fatal car accident at the interchange where she works.  It was around 6:00.  I sort of panicked there…what if it was her?  I tried of find out what happened and the cars involved.  At first they said it was a blue van or SUV…she has a small blue SUV.  But, then I realized, that was a long time ago.  It was doubtful she still had the same car.  I later found out it was a blue van in the accident.  It wasn’t her.  I felt relief about that.  And I realized how far removed from her I really am.  Neither of us are the same people.  We have changed and the things that related us to each other have changed.

Meanwhile, I feel like I’m sitting in a waiting room waiting for my name to be called, but I have no idea why.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Her again

    1. haha. I know, I’m weird. I suppose there was a time when I thought that, but not anymore. But you do make me laugh! I will work through this in my head and all will be well, with or without her. That’s where I’m at!

  1. For the record I’m with pabloswife……That being said I’d like to voice my opinion about “Bobbie”. Women like her are pros at what they do. They go after men with a plan. They make a point of saying and doing the right thing at the right time to reel in their prey. You became a game for her…to win….She played you just as she did the men in her web. You got her and she got you, because that was her playbook. Your husband was in mourning because he had to give up someone, who in his mind not only cared about him, but totally understood him. You seem to be mourning the loss of someone who understood you and was there for you…… She wore whatever mask she needed for that days game. The ” Bobbies” of the word are all the same, no real feelings for anyone, EVER. She is not worth the air you would use to talk to her. You are so far above her in character you would only feel dirty after a confrontation……. Good thoughts your way.

    1. Everything you said is exactly right. She pulls out whatever mask she needs for her day’s work. I have successfully avoided her for a very long time now and her presence is becoming less and less. She will never have any true feelings for anyone is the truest statement you made. She has no idea how to be content with what she has. She clearly gave that away in her desire for always having more.

      1. It’s superficial charm that they excel at. Like Ted Bundy. They don’t “get” people, they hook themselves into people and become who they think they should be. Always hated baseball? Mm loves baseball? Guess who memorized the lineup. Never mentioned boating? Mm has a boat! Guess who claims that she only really feels like her true self around water? Next mm doesn’t have a boat? Guess who says boating is not s big part of her life?

        All those examples are of my mother in law by the way, so I’ve had a front row seat to watching a master manipulator. And the mow was her minion. Lots of goopy flattery that makes no sense and is so over the top that it makes folks uncomfortable. Inability to let anyone else talk, therefore possibly shine brighter, so must suck all the air out of the room. Then talks about how impressed everyone was by her. Classic ow moves. And guess who’s a couples therapist? Yup.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s