Stalled

You know those days where you’re in a big hurry and you inevitably get behind that one car driving 5mph less than the speed limit and they just happen to be going exactly the same way you are going?  You’ve been there.  I’ve been there.  It’s frustrating to the nth degree.  But, no matter how much you tailgate or pound on the steering wheel or cuss them under your breath, they’re up there and you’re behind them.  You are stuck, whether you want to be or not.

Well, I feel like I keep getting stuck behind that car.  I told myself a few days ago that no matter how much my mind and heart needed it to find that elusive peace, it likely would never happen that I get that conversation with the other woman.  And I made one of those decisions that I had made a few times before, that I would get her out of my mind.  I would concede that I could do this without that piece.  I really could live with a puzzle with a piece missing.  So, as cold turkey as I could go, I put her out of my mind.  And, it actually was going pretty well.  I was keeping my mind occupied with other things, because in all honesty, lately I was pretty much consumed with fantasy conversations with her in my head.  I know better really.  Her peace-of-mind really has nothing to do with me.  She doesn’t really care either way.  She doesn’t need a conversation.  And, she certainly has no interest in entertaining my peace-of-mind.  I was pretty proud of myself for coming to these conclusions.   I was moving along quite nicely.

And then, tonight happened.  We have some new players on our soccer team.  And my friend and I were sitting at a table when another mom came up.  I said, hi, my name is…… and she said hi, I’m….BOBBIE.  In my head I’m trying to maintain my composure.   I’m trying to play it cool.  In reality, I was like WTF!  Seriously?  I mean, I had never met another person with that name ever, and now here’s another one?  I felt like a little old lady had pulled out in front of me on the interstate.  And here I am in my Corvette…stalled.

I can’t help but wonder what the heck the universe is trying to tell me.

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2 thoughts on “Stalled

  1. Well…shit. I just didn’t have another word, Black.
    I’m not sure what it means, but you can sit on it for a bit you know.
    I’m thinking of you. We want the same thing, you know, and I’m fighting it too. Maybe we aren’t supposed to fight it?

    Hugs to you…

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