I’m pretty open-minded. I have somewhat of a belief in signs and things happening for a reason. I have had a few hard-to-explain occurrences in my lifetime. I think we probably all have at some point. But, I really do believe that the OW is haunting me. Maybe haunt isn’t the right word. Making subliminal contact with me, maybe. It’s so hard to explain to other people exactly what this means. But, in this last case, I do have proof. I’m sure a fair amount of people would call it coincidence still, but too many of these occurrences have happened for me to not believe “something” is at play here.
I rarely let my kids use my laptop. In fact, when I first bought it my husband told the kids it was off-limits to them. But, I have had it long enough now that I admit I have been a little lax in that area. I do occasionally let them use my Macbook. So, a few days ago they asked me if they could use it to watch YouTube videos. I gave in, and let them. I usually have a lot of tabs open on my computer. I have Facebook and Pinterest open all the time, along with Amazon. I usually close out WordPress so that it’s not found by my children. And, there’s always some tab, or even a few tabs, open of an FB article that I clicked on.
I’m really not sure how many days after the kids used my computer that I went through all of the tabs to close some. But, as I was going through, attempting to close them all to do a reboot, I was carefully checking each one, in case there was something that I wanted to keep track of or go back to, I ended up on the YouTube tab. The boys had been watching training videos. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. It appeared they had watched a Pokemon Go video. Again, expected. But, just as I was ready to close out that tab, something caught the corner of my eye. The name “Bobbie” jumped off of the page and caught me completely off guard. Upon closer inspection I realized it was HER, like for real, it was her.
Now her friend had sent me the OW’s wedding video a very long time ago. I didn’t watch more than a minute or two, but enough to know that it was HER wedding video that showed up on the right of the boys’ training video they were watching as a featured upcoming video. I froze. I probably almost hyperventilated. And then, opened a new tab to look up how to screen shot on a Mac, something I just couldn’t remember in my flustered state. It took me six tries to get that screenshot I was shaking so much. But, I wanted proof that I was not losing my mind.
After debating for at least 30 minutes about whether or not to show my husband this (because I typically don’t like to bring her up with him, I decided I had to tell someone) So, I shot him a text at work. My fears were he would watch the video without telling me and a plethora of other fears that I couldn’t even think of.
Of course my phone rang shortly thereafter. And we literally had no time to talk that night because of an event with his company. We discussed whether or not either of us intended to watch the video. I was honest with him and told him who had sent me the video a long time ago and that I had watched a bit of it, but that I did intend to watch the whole thing this time. He stated emphatically that he would not be watching it. I even offered up to watch it together (which was not really something I wanted to do at all). His exact words were that he really preferred not to ever think about her again. Okay then. I asked him if he minded if I watched it. He did not. I still haven’t watched it. I don’t know why. I’ve had plenty of opportunities, but I just can’t do it yet. I really don’t know what my fear is, but it’s like I have a brick wall standing between me and it. I get the same feeling anytime something about her comes up. With the exception of her blog, I steer clear. I don’t have a real answer as to why I’m still going to the blog, it’s just a personal thing that I’m dealing with.
This is just one instance. The other occurrences are just weird things, like the turtle showing up or ending up with her perfume on me. There are weird things with music and just bizarre happenings, that again, are hard to explain. I’m just glad I got physical proof this time! I’m also glad I have this blog to vent all of this out!