Advice?

I’ve been trying to get here to write, honest!  But, this week has been spent doing a lot of napping, and that’s after sleeping late!  First, let me say, as much as I want to put the OW out of my mind, she clearly has other plans.  So, here’s what’s going on…..

First a preface….so, way back years ago when we both started our blogs (my public one), and at about the point they split for good, maybe a little before, we would basically “poke” each other with visits to each other’s blogs.  At this point it would just go back and forth during the day, and since the only time my blog got traffic was when I posted something, as I’m sure was true with hers, we would see a hit and know it was each other.  After she switched jobs and all was quiet for a while, I was suspicious that she was still “poking” me.  So, I did some research and discovered that I could use some analytics to at least get a city out of who was viewing my blog.  Unfortunately, I also saw that they were both looking at my blog at the same time one day (very beginning of their split up).  I tried not to blow my cover, but alas, my self-restraint ain’t all that.  LOL  Anyway, I told him I knew they were both looking and, of course, he told her I was using Statcounter.  And, of course, she stopped for a while, but then started using Hidemyass to view my blog, as if I still wouldn’t know it was her, it’s pretty easy to figure out when someone is using a VPN if you really want to find out, especially that one.

So, at some point, I stopped using Statcounter and stopped “poking” her.  And for some unknown reason, I started looking at her blog again last year.  Nothing had changed, but I just did it.  I had not posted in mine for a long time either.  Eventually, I became suspicious that she was also looking at mine again.  So, after a few months, and a search for my password, I started using Statcounter again.  Again, she was “poking” using a VPN.  And after several months of once again “poking” each other, I stopped, cold turkey.  I decided I was done, and I was ready to let her go.  I fully expected her to stop, only she didn’t.

These days she is basically viewing my blog several times a day, and still using a VPN.  I feel like she’s trying to tell me something, but I have no idea what.  And it’s driving me a little crazy.  Sometimes she reads certain blogs, with subject matter that would imply she has something to say.  Other times they are just hits on my homepage.  I thought maybe she was sending me a message via her Facebook page,  so I asked my cousin to find out if there were any cryptic statuses (she has me blocked), but she didn’t see anything, and actually said that she used to make her posts public, but noticed she’s just friends at the moment.  So here are my questions:

  1. Why is she doing this?
  2. What is she trying to tell me?
  3. If she wants me to know it’s her and she is trying to tell me something, why is she using a VPN?  (I always go to hers using my own ISP)  (and I have no doubt she is likely using an analytics program)
  4.  And last, but certainly not least, why doesn’t she just send me an email or a text or something!

So, I suppose I could just ignore the whole thing, but that’s rather difficult.  And, she clearly has something to say.  I did go back to her blog after a month long hiatus just to see if she posted anything directed to me, but she had not.  So, I’m at a loss.

What would you do?

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4 thoughts on “Advice?

  1. No advice yet…I’m not sure I understand? You and your H former AP each have blogs and poke each other?
    I’m so sorry, BC, but having just entered the blogosphere in November, I’m at a loss. First…did not know you could poke someone on a blog – what does that mean? Also, I don’t see anyone’s IP address – what am I missing? If I do, I know how to identify the region, and know a bit about VPNs, but with my current very limited knowledge of the analytics (only use the WP analytics at this point) I don’t know how you are figuring out what you are figuring out!! Help!!
    HUGS to you!!

    1. When I say “poke” I mean just visiting the blog and giving it a view. I started using a different analytical program, other than WordPress, for that particular blog because I wanted to know for sure if she was looking at it. The truth is, it only gives you a city and the IP number, but I have lots of friends in her city, so I was only guess it was her. However, when she started using a VPN and I was getting views from other countries when I never did before I knew it was her. So, in her effort to hide from me, she really gave herself away. haha I really just don’t know what to do about it. Like I said, it appears she’s trying to tell me something, but what?? Maybe it’s just her way of apologizing, who knows?

  2. The crappy things you do to people have a way of resting heavy on ones conscience. It sounds to me that she is reminiscing because she’s already bored in her new marriage (I think I read that you said she got married, bless his soul) …. I have a hard time believing that someone like her would ever actually feel bad about what she has done to other people. She reminds me of my mother, and there are never any apologies from her and the lives she has destroyed. If she had something to say, couldn’t she simply unblock you from facebook and message you? She just seems like a strange person all-around.

    1. I have been going back and forth on what the reasons could be. I have no doubt she’s already bored in her marriage, especially since my cousin said she changed her Facebook profile to just friends, that way she keeps it on the down low that there’s already trouble in paradise. If she does have something to say, she’s likely to cowardly to say whatever it is. It hit me last night that she likely has no idea he told me that she knew I could tell when she was looking and is just trying to find out how we are doing. She did tell me once she could never be happy he was happy with me. So, a miserable new marriage and her desire to know how mine is going likely equals her doing this. She would never unblock anyone from Facebook, no matter who it was. She is much too full of herself! Besides I don’t the temptation there for me to look if she unblocked me. However, since I’m relatively positive that she put her friend up to sending me pictures of her wedding, I suppose it wouldn’t surprise me if she did. She obviously wants me to believe she’s happy in her “marriage”. lol

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