The days are moving quickly and soon it will be Christmas.  From what my children have told me, apparently my husband has bought me an awesome gift.  That made buying his gifts difficult, but I think I was able to come up with the perfect things.  The last Christmas gift my husband bought me was a very meaningful one.  It wasn’t an expensive one, but definitely something he put a lot of thought into.  I am actually very excited to see what this year’s gift is.   And I’m excited to give him his gifts.

I actually think our shopping and wrapping is done, except for one thing that hasn’t arrived yet.  My husband loves to indulge at Christmas.  If I let him go he would buy a million things for the kids.  I did kind of let him go this year.  We do not usually buy things for our children during the year that isn’t a necessity, so I don’t feel bad about it at all.  And I know he enjoys the whole thing.  Our shopping trips are always lots of fun.

As far as the OW, we did not run into her anywhere we went.  Although I think it was always in the back of my mind that we could.  I haven’t heard anything else from her friend from the last time either.  All good news.  Out of sight and out of mind.

My husband will be taking off between Christmas and New Year and we hope to have more than enough family time together.  We are looking forward to a new year with new experiences and new memories.  That’s the gift we look forward to unwrapping the most, the day-to-day surprises that life brings.



10 thoughts on “Gifts

      1. I struggle a little with the moments right now. One of the happiest Christmas seasons I THOUGHT I had was 2013…when HUSBAND was deeply ensconced in his exit-affair. As I was happily enjoying and savoring the moments, feeling completely loved (collectively) and loving, I later came to find out that he and SW were commenting about this being their last Christmas apart…their last holidays playing a charade… I’m still deeply wounded and struggling to find JOY in the season. That’s why I’m choosing to write about the gifts I can look back and now see… I believe with all my heart that I will get there, that it is a process. As I write this, I can see there is still grief that needs to be looked at with honesty… Thank you for your comment…it gives me HOPE.

      2. None of this is easy. And my struggles have taken a very long time. And there are still areas that I struggle with. My wounds run deep. My husband also said things to the OW like that. But, that was only to keep her on his leash. He may have said it, but he never really felt what he was saying. And, because I recorded him so many times I heard a lot of it. But, ultimately he chose me, which tells me he never really left me. Although I know he can’t call a two year affair a mistake, I do have an understanding of what he was up against with the OW. And, because of all of those great moments he was giving me when he was having an affair with her I can also now see that she was the charade all along and I was the real deal with him. If all of the things he said and did with her were real, he would be with her right now and not me. These women who lack respect for themselves will do anything and everything to win, and that’s all they really care about. If nothing else, I will hold my head high knowing that she respected herself very little and I respected myself enough to put my children and my family before my own feelings of being betrayed. I will never claim that it’s easy, but I will tell you it’s worth it. Give yourself time to heal. And one great thing my husband and I do is have specific times to discuss it. And between Thanksgiving and New Year, all conversations that aren’t joyful are off limits. And believe it or not, that helps you deal with your grief more than anything. Because then you see and remember everything that the OW ruined, and how much you can get back if you let it go. I wish you peace!

  1. Thank you so much for this reply. You are right…these OW play a game, defining the win by the destruction of a marriage, a family. It is unbelievably sick, and twisted, and we are NOT playing (by any choice of our own) but rather living and loving. Very interesting idea to take a period of time and agree conversations are off-limits…I’ll have to chew on that…kind of mind-control for me.
    Thank you, again. You’ve given me a lovely gift. HUGS.

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