My husband and I rarely buy each other gifts for the simple reason we have so many children to buy for. But, every once a while at Christmas we decide to exchange presents. So, we sort of kind of decided a few weeks ago that we would get each other something. I can’t look at our bank account and he can’t look at Amazon. The only thing we had not established was exactly how many gifts we are exchanging with each other. I tried to glean that information from him tonight. Instead he told me that he wanted me to buy me gifts, but that he didn’t want me to buy him anything! I, of course, was not too keen on that. For one, I would much rather give a gift than to receive a gift (big difference between me and OW), and two, I had a lot of great ideas. So, as of this moment I don’t know what to do exactly! LOL
I honestly do not want or need him to get me gifts because he feels guilty about anything. He never said that was the reason, but I can read him…and it seems like the reason. I couldn’t say that to him though. I could let him just have his gesture and move on and just do what I want as well. And I am, in fact, leaning that way. I won’t accept him being the only one who is buying gifts.
We spent Saturday together shopping and wrapping gifts. Shopping together is one of our favorite things. We just have so much fun shopping for our kids and family. It was one of the things that she was unable to infiltrate ever, although she certainly tried. The sacred things like that mean the most to me, the things she couldn’t get her grubby hands on.
Yesterday he took the day off to spend with me. That was a big surprise. He woke me up and asked if I would like it if he took the day off! We really didn’t do anything, just enjoyed each other and a trip to lunch. The trip to lunch was interesting as we were literally looking at the hotel where the OW screwed the other husband. ( Imagine the audacity of someone who would be pledging their love to someone and then come to that person’s town to screw their other lover.) That alone attests to her character. But, even though we were staring at that hotel momentarily, neither of us let it weigh us down. If anything we had a good chuckle about it and moved on to talk of basketball games and gifts!
While it’s the season of peace, I do feel peaceful, more peaceful than I have in a long time. Most of it is because I have learned to let things go that I couldn’t before. It’s not always easy, but the reward is calmness. And I just keep telling myself that. It will always creep into my mind like yesterday at lunch, but the creeping does change. It isn’t disturbing anymore, but actually rewarding. While I have forgiven my husband and even the OW, the realization that I have so much more than she ever could was all that I needed to remember.