From last Friday to this coming Sunday, our lives have been a whirlwind of sports, some ending, others beginning. Thankfully, they are only overlapping by a week. We literally have been passing each other in the hallway and collapsing into bed at night. Thankfully texting and phone calls fill the gaps. As much as times like these might draw others apart, it brings us together. We thrive in these situations. Each of us filling in the role for the other one in absence. We work together to fit in that 100 percent required to keep a marriage going.
Many people have said that marriage takes 100 percent from each person all the time. That couldn’t be further from the truth. The truth is, nobody could ever give 100 percent of themselves all the time. We all have other people in our lives and children and jobs. As much as i love my husband I don’t have the capability of giving 100 percent of myself to him at all times. It’s just not a realistic possibility. And maybe this is where a lot of marriages and relationships fail, the expectation that your partner should be giving you 100 percent at all times?
There are the rare days when the stars align and we get to be alone without interruption that we absolutely give each other as close to that 100 percent as possible. That is not the norm. I can’t imagine it is for anybody. But, every day we do our best and hopefully if one of us just doesn’t have it in us to give more than 40 percent, the other one jumps in and makes up the other 60 percent. And instinctively we always know when the extra needs given. When someone has a bad day, they may not want to give even 10 percent. Recognizing that this is normal human nature is the key to realizing just because someone has a bad day doesn’t mean they don’t love you. We all deserve that chill time, especially when our lives are so crazy already.
Love is the desire to come back in fresh and new after a low day, to move past that day and raising the percentage. And it’s being aware that we aren’t living a fairy tale, but our lives, and those lives are demanding. And it’s realizing that we all need space to be able to continue growing as individuals and as a couple.