A photo, some happiness, some healing, and a list

In a strange twist of events my husband’s picture is likely to show up on HER news feed this week.  Today I posted a photo of my husband on my Facebook page.  And a few hours later his business parter shared the photo on his page….and he’s friends with the OW.  So, after her picture popped up on my page, now his picture will likely show up on hers.  I’m sure this will be a bit of a surprise to her, just like her picture showing up was a surprise to me.  It’s a moving photo that I took.  And she will know immediately that it’s him, even though the picture is from behind him.

I keep trying to figure out how I feel about her seeing his photo.  To be honest, I would have much rather the photo not have been shared.  And I wouldn’t have posted it had I known his partner would share it.  But, that’s water under the bridge now.  The photo is out there.

He and I are both a bit worn out these days.  Our kids sports has us on the road every day.  And there’s no end in sight.  It is normal for us, but we have to get used to it again.  It will take a few more days and then we will be fine.  We try to cram in everything we want to say to each other in the hour we have alone at night or on the phone at lunch time.  We aren’t talking about anything too serious right now.  We have learned the right times to have our conversations and the wrong times.  But, there are those random times when he calls me with the faucet open wide.  Lately, I have been the one reluctant to talk with him about everything.  I don’t have a reason.  I’m just dealing with a few things in my own way.  But, it’s fine.  We are having great success talking through things these days.  We don’t need to talk every day or even every week.  We both have things we are silently working on.

My stress level is high at the moment.  But, for once, it has absolutely nothing to do with him or her.  Just a lot of chaos and obligations.  And that is refreshing.

I look around and I see so many unhappy couples.  And despite everything we have been through, that is not us.  We made it through this.  We aren’t unscathed, but we made it through.  We have more work to do, and more unpacking to do, but we are getting there.  And we are happy.

I fight the visions of him with her daily though.  I still have trouble with certain things.  Trying to forget that your husband was with someone else is the hardest.  I wish I could get those visions out of my head.  And I struggle with it every single time I’m with him.  This is one area where I have not discussed my feelings with him.  He takes our intimacy seriously.  And, to be honest, I hate to bring it up.  I know I shouldn’t feel that way and I should talk to him about how I feel, but for some reason I just can’t.  It really bothers me that our sex life was fabulous, even when he was with her.  It’s one of the issues I just do not understand.  I guess I could understand if he was deprived, but he wasn’t.  And I can’t help but wonder if he was the same with her as he is with me.  I guess this is something all of us can relate to.  And I know that I will have to talk to him about it.  It’s on my list.

But, my list is getting shorter.

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2 thoughts on “A photo, some happiness, some healing, and a list

  1. I think that the photo you shared that has your husband in it – if it’s set to “friends only” and someone else shares your photo, only the people that you are mutually friends with (if any) can see it. Not all of your friends friends. *I think* …. Now, if you shared it as public and someone else shared it, then it’s game for anyone to see. I’m ashamed that I know as much as I know about Facebook.

    I think I will always wonder why my ex cheated on me when our sex life was so good. I never turned him down for sex. I always want it more than the other person does, anyway. And it makes me wonder just what he was missing. Something special, obviously because he ended up marrying the OW.

    1. I am not sure how I missed this comment. Yeah, my photos are not set to just friends. When your kids play sports it is much easier to be friends of friends. I’m sure she saw the photo. But, I’m not that concerned about it. My husband has told me that what happened just happened. He said he loved both of us, which I knew, because he had told me before. I guess the important thing was he was committed to me. I think when people remarry and think they are getting something special they quickly realize that eventually that person becomes familiar and the relationship takes on the same challenges. And people who continue to cheat and search out new people are just bored and have no idea how a real relationship really works. The newness and excitement that goes along with that newness always wears off.

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