Something odd happened today. Maybe you won’t think it’s odd. Here’s the thing, she and I have a long history of this weird connection. I wouldn’t use the word connection, but maybe strange coincidences, but it’s more than that. It’s definitely an unshakeable connection. At first it was coincidences….both born in the same state, birthdays within two days of each other, fathers had the same job growing up, just little things like that. And then he would tell me personality traits that were the same, we would “feel” the same way about things and use the exact same language when describing our feelings. There was this obvious ebb and flow we had, our opposites definitely intrigued each other. When we were friends on FB we frequently had similar status updates, unknown to each other until after the fact. And, even after we were no longer friends on FB (she blocked me because she couldn’t take my statuses about family and him) one of her friends would send me screenshots of her status updates, eerily similar to mine. We loved the same music. We were two people, undeniably different from each other to the entire world, and most certainly connected to each other in some secret translucent world that only we knew about. I often thought that it was no wonder he chose her to cheat with…she was me in a lot of ways living a lifestyle that intrigued him, that was different than ours. It wasn’t one that he wanted particularly, but definitely one he wanted to experience. She presented herself as me with a dark side. And I found out later that this so-called fashion queen emulated me quite often. I am the girl next door, full time mom, dinner on the table for him after work and she was the polar opposite. She was the girl you did not take home to mom. She worked full time and then some. And she liked to eat fancy food from fancy restaurants.
But, on to my oddity.
So, today i had a hair appointment, which happened to be in the town she works in, although that had nothing to do with the odd occurrence. A few hours before that appointment I heard from my cousin, who works with her (she doesn’t know). The last time i talked to my cousin (quite a while ago) I pretty much said I didn’t really want to know anything regarding her (and I really didn’t). I knew she was supposedly getting married or had gotten married, based on those conversations, but I stopped her from elaborating. She called me regarding something else, the entire family has been concerned about her grandmother developing dementia. She knew my mom was worried and was just checking in with me. And I sort of lost all of my willpower somewhere in the middle of this way too long conversation and asked whether she had any news about her. She gave me several details, but mainly that the OW was getting married, not yet married, and she gave the wedding date. Weird I know, why do I care? But, as she spoke, spilling out the info like from an open faucet, I became like a dry sponge, eagerly soaking all that new info in. I got out the calendar after the conversation and looked to see exactly when she would be tying the knot for the third time. September 23. Except September 23 is a Wednesday. Maybe I heard her wrong. Maybe I tuned it out. Anyway, I headed to my hair appointment, that (and this is important), was rescheduled from last week. We were on vacation and I thought it was the following week. So, as I’m leaving and making my next appointment, 6 weeks from today, thoughts of her are not even in my mind.
Fast forward to home and as I was getting my ATM card out of my wallet to give to the kids because we had a dinner to go to tonight, the appointment card fell out. The date of the appointment is September 23! I know what you’re thinking, so what? But, it freaked me out. I mean, seriously, I couldn’t make this up if I wanted to make it up. I find it bizarre. Maybe everyone would consider it just an odd coincidence and maybe it is. My husband would say it was a coincidence…although I didn’t tell him any of this. But, that’s exactly what he would say. That’s exactly what everyone would say. Except me. I tend to read into everything. And, no matter how coincidental it is, the fact remains that I can’t escape the coincidences. So, on a Wednesday next month, while she’s getting married, I will be sitting in a salon getting highlights and chatting with the hairdresser about her own broken marriage and trying not to tune her out, because even though I could try to stop myself, my mind will still wander to her wedding and I will be there in spirit whether either of us wants me there or not.
Meanwhile, my husband will be oblivious to the whole thing because I won’t tell him any of this. Even if I did he would tell me he doesn’t care and why am I telling him, which is exactly what he said when I told him she was getting married to begin with.
There are so many things I just choose to deal with on my own.