A friend broke down to me today. Her husband wasn't having an affair, but their relationship is toxic. They have four children and she feels trapped. When she told me he was mean to her, disrespectful, tries to make huge life decisions without her, I asked her why she stayed with him. I knew the answer of course. She has four children and she's a stay-at-home mom. Finances were holding her to this relationship. I said, yeah men are assholes. She quickly reminded me that mine isn't. She thinks my husband is great. I think I stared blankly at her. She's right. He is great. Except. For. This. One. Thing.
I find myself saying this everyday. Everything is perfect. Except. For. This. One. Thing. So, in my mind it's not perfect. Am I being unreasonable? He's sorry. He regrets it. He got bamboozled by the marketing genius. Hell, I got bamboozled by the marketing genius. Her lies prove she has zero merit. So why do I dwell on this? I don't always dwell. Honestly, I don't. Sometimes, I even forget for a while. But, it always comes back. I don't want it to come back. I want to tell the world again that I have the greatest husband. Because I do. He really is great. Except. For. This. One. Thing.
I realize my heart is still broken. He realizes my heart is still broken. He knows that everything would be perfect. Except. For. This. One. Thing. He struggles to make it right. I go through phases. He holds my hand in solidarity every night. He reaches for me in his sleep. And sometimes I move close to him. And sometimes I can't. He tells me he loves me. And I love all of him with all of my heart.
Except. For. This. One. Thing.