I find myself not knowing what to write here sometimes. Everything about her has come to pass, so to speak. So, maybe i should be talking about the healing process. I, personally, think the healing process sucks. I don't want to suffer any longer for their actions. Although, I must admit, I'm suffering a lot less these days knowing that he was nothing more than another notch in her hat. But, still, I hate this whole healing process. I'm ready for it to be over completely. I'm ready to put it all behind us. My sister told me that she read that it takes seven years to completely after an affair. Seven years. Seven more years of something I should have never had to deal with in the first place!
I'm frustrated. I can admit that. It's very difficult to live in the shadow of an affair. It's always there, even though you fight so hard for it not to be. My new friend told me how she watched this woman, after she asked him to dance with her husband, at an event they were all at, and how some red flags went up. I know what she means. I remember seeing the way this woman looked at my husband. Funny, how she was giving both men the same attention at the same time. I often wonder how she kept the text messages and nudie photos straight of who she was sending to who…or maybe she sent them both the same ones…although the one she sent the other man, my husband said he had not seen that one before. I have known some evil people before, but seriously, at least they were upfront about it, everyone knows they're evil. Evil that is hidden is far worse. Everyone thinks she is great…I want to tell the world that she's far from it. That, is perhaps, the most frustrating thing of all. I'm incredibly frustrated that I can't scream it to the world.
I have to ask myself if part of my healing involves her at all. Is there something more I want to say to her? Our last exchange was well over a year ago. I didn't know half of the stuff I know right now. But, do I want to prove or improve, and are they related? I don't know. I struggle with that question daily. I think I'm going to need a blog entitled Dear Other Woman to get out my frustrations. I guess there's no way to get through this healing thing any quicker than I'm doing.