A few years ago I would have never generalized like that. But, a few years ago things were different. I find myself saying a lot of things that I would have never said before. I also find myself thinking things I never thought before. I remember hearing a comedian about ten years ago say during his act that all men cheat and proceeded in a funny way to say why. I remember it because my husband and I discussed how untrue that was. And at that moment it wasn't true. At that moment all men did not cheat. At that moment all men were not assholes. At this moment, all I know is that my man did cheat. And for this man to cheat, I have no choice to believe they all do. I hope I'm wrong. I hope that I just misjudged his greatness. I'm hoping that I was the one who was delusional enough to think that he would never cheat, and that somewhere out there such a man exists.
I honestly do not believe that he would ever cheat again. I have real trouble though believing he did the first time.
Do all men cheat? Is it something in their make-up that drives them to find sex wherever they can get it? And, does it shut down their brains? How can they have the knowledge that someone is a “player” and continue on the path to destruction? If you're a man, weigh in here, because I don't understand. I don't understand how you can be rational enough to know it's all going to end up a big mess and continue. How did the little head gain so much power?
We have both been sick this week. As I was driving my boys to practice yesterday I was thinking of those vows….. for better or worse, in sickness and in health……and how so many people do not take them seriously. So many people discount them. As soon as something goes wrong, people bail on their relationships, turn to someone else, instead of turning to the person they should. We, as a society, may have technological advances, but personally we have failed ourselves. The things that should matter, like family, our children, our relationships go on the backburner to career paths and fun. If it's not fun, we do not want to partake, and raising a family is not always fun. It's hard work. It's mentally taxing. It's exhausting. And here we are, with the responsiblity of raising awesome human beings, and some make the choice to be a poor example. How can anyone fail their children in that way?? We are failing our children with selfishness.
He has been sicker than me. I took care of him and made him soup. I coughed all night and couldn't sleep and he let me sleep in and took the kids to school. True love doesn't die, it's just hidden away somewhere, waiting to find it's way back out of the abyss. I really don't think all men are assholes. I don't think all men cheat. And I believe that forgiveness is hard, but not impossible. And I am trying hard to trust again. And the other woman has a new boyfriend that I pray will not suffer at her hand.