The day I found out initially was days before our wedding anniversary, which also happens to be today. When I count how many events have been ruined by this one event it literally numbs me. But, that’s a blog for another day.
After the intial email, and his assurances, which I believed briefly, I began to feel, well, I began to feel like something wasn’t right. And something wasn’t. About a week after the event, and the knowledge that those stupid Iphones will let you delete everything with nary a trace, I had to think outside of the box. He was technically illiterate, so I easily convinced him that I did have the power to undelete his texts. My suspicions grew to the fact that he was possibly using email. So, in what I call a stroke of brilliance, I went to his email settings on his phone one night, and set his email up on my phone. The only unknown was the password, but I knew he only used a few. Wala…his email was on my phone. And because it was an Exchange account, everything happened in live time. If he read I knew it, if he deleted I knew it, and he had no way of knowing. The problem with this one is it requires an absolutely enormous amount of self-control if you want it to work. For two days I watched them email each other. I watched him delete those emails while he was on the phone with me. But, two days was all I could handle. I called him on it. His face looked like he had seen a ghost, mainly because we met after work and he knew I had not seen his phone to see any emails. I had him and he knew it. I wish I could remember what lies he told to explain that all away. But, anyway, I lost that “in” because I didn’t have the self-control to keep it to myself. Lesson learned.
I was running out of options. He could delete everything, and now he certainly wasn’t going to use his email. I needed to know what he was doing alone. So, what does a woman scorned do at this point. I went to Walmart. I decided that I was going to bug his truck. I picked out a relatively small voice recorder, that one might use in a college class. It had VOD, which means it only records when it hears something. I hid it in his truck, and waited………it was the longest day ever. But, later that night, when he was asleep, I retrieved it. I had to wade through my children’s voices as he took them to school, and the radio, but then she called. I heard him tell her she had nice tits, and that he wanted her to be careful coming back into the office, and that sooner or later, yes, he would be going on vacation with us…you know, his family, even though he would love to go with her…..
Now, when I tell you that the rage I felt was unimaginable, I had to find a way to release it and keep my secret. I asked him if he was still talking to her, and he gave me an emphatic no. Watching someone lie and knowing the truth makes you feel a lot of different emotions. Mostly I was stunned. But, I intended to confront him, so I told him he accidentally three-wayed me into the call. He bought it. I couldn’t wait to hear what his excuse was this time, as it was actually getting sort of entertaining. As my devastation grew, my view of the whole world changed. If he could lie, if he could do this….the grass must not be green. I don’t remember what he said, what his excuse was, I just knew that I had children who deserved to have both parents, and that this man was not behaving normally.
Unconvinced, my next move was to plant my device in a pocket of his briefcase, one that he rarely used. This was harder, as it recorded all of the office things, and once he got to work, only in his office, because that’s where he left his briefcase. But, as I expected I heard him on the phone with her, I heard him flirting with her. I heard it all.
I’ve often wondered if it was better to be ignorant. Maybe it would be better to just not know. Because, I honestly didn’t know what to do, or how to act, and this person was just not the person I married. My husband would not do any of these things. But, the story will grow even more bizzarre.